Though rich people have been enjoying champagne for centuries, we unwashed masses have made the drink more popular today than it has ever been in its history. In fact, it was during the decades after the Champagne region in France was bombed to rubble in World War II that the popularity of the nectar exploded. In the twenty years following the War, worldwide consumption of champagne quadrupled and is still rising. So if you're not drinking bubbly yet, you're the only one. If you are drinking it, read on! We have a good deal of information that will greatly enhance your enjoyment of your next bottle.

1. CHOOSE A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE

Relax. The best thing about champagne, as compared with regular wines, is that there are significantly fewer choices out there, so you really need to learn only a few classics that are sure to appear on any menu. Of course, if you're purchasing your champagne at a liquor store, your choice will be even easier.
  1. Marque
  2. Vintage
  3. Size of Bottle
  4. Dryness

Marque

The first thing you will need to determine is which brand and year you intend to order. Unlike wines in general, the best champagnes hail from only a few sources. By definition, true "champagne" comes only from that region of France that bears the same name. Specifically, the Champagne region is 90 miles northeast of Paris, close to the border with Belgium. Champagnes themselves typically come from one of three areas within that region: Reims, Marne, or Cote de Blancs. Unlike most wines that are named after vineyards, champagnes are named for the houses that produce them. These houses, in turn, produce various brands of champagne, which are known as marques. When you ultimately are forced to select a bottle of champagne, it will be these marques from which you must choose. Mercifully, the list of most famous champagne marques is relatively short, so if you can remember it -- or even just a few items on it -- you will never fail to find something familiar in a liquor store or on a restaurant menu:

Marque Area of the Champagne Region Bollinger Ay Charles Heidsieck Reims Krug Reims Moet et Chandon Epernay G.H. Mumm Reims Joseph Perrier Marne Ruinart Reims Taittinger Reims Veuve Cliquot-Ponsardin Reims

While each of these marques is a great champagne, you will need to taste many different marques before you can determine your own preference. But since there is the handy Half-Bottle size available, this should not prove to be a prohibitively expensive habit.

Vintage

As with any wine, quality varies across the years, in harmony with the quality of the grapes harvested that year and the weather of the harvesting season. Unlike many wines, however, one needn't sample decades worth of champagnes to identify a good year. Champagne is typically held for up to five years by the manufacturing house, but when it is eventually released for purchase, it should be consumed within two years. Choosing a relatively young champagne, therefore, is not considered gauche.

Also, champagne is often blended across years. For a champagne to be considered of a particular year's vintage, at least 80% of the grapes used in producing it must have been harvested in that year. The remaining 20% of the grapes, therefore, can be from other years. Vintners will, accordingly, often blend their champagnes with the "greatest hits" from across the years, which leads to a more uniform quality of beverage. This is yet another reason why choosing any particular vintage of champagne is not that important -- all those of a given marque are quite similar.

For a more precise evaluation of the quality of different vintages, however, check out this Champagne Vintage chart.

Size of Bottle

One thing that is a little trickier about champagne though is the size of the bottle. We know, you're probably thinking: "What are you talking about!?" But trust us, champagne comes in a whole universe of sizes, and basic economics tells us that we should buy only as much as we need and no more. Anyway, knowing some of these terms is sure to wow your date. Consider:

Quarter-Bottle 6.3 fluid ounces Half-Bottle 12.7 fluid ounces Bottle 25.4 fluid ounces Magnum 50.8 fluid ounces 2 bottles Jeroboam 101.6 fluid ounces 4 bottles Rehoboam 147 fluid ounces 6 bottles Methuselah 196 fluid ounces 8 bottles Salmanazar 304.8 fluid ounces 12 bottles Balthazar 406.4 fluid ounces 16 bottles Nebuchadnezzar 508 fluid ounces 20 bottles

Sure, you're not going to have much occasion to bust out the Nebuchadnezzar, but at least you now know that those oversized bottles in vintners' windows aren't just hokey advertising gimmicks. You will, however, need to know Half-Bottle, Bottle, and Magnum. If you are dining alone, or simply want to order champagne to accompany dessert, it is cuter -- and more affordable -- simply to order a half-bottle, which will pour out to slightly more than two full glasses. So, one for you and your date, with a little extra that you can graciously pour into your companion's glass. Of course, a Bottle is the standard order if you are having your champagne over dinner. The Magnum comes in handy if you are at dinner with your date's parents, on a double date perhaps, or even dining out for a corporate occasion. In any setting, though, knowing some of these terms is sure to dazzle your company.

Dryness

Once you have identified the size, brand, and year of your champagne, for Pete's sake just go ahead and drink the stuff. If, however, you are really trying to impress, then you can take your particularity one more step. The last variable in choosing a champagne is its level of dryness. Champagne is not alone among wines in occurring in various levels of dryness, but it is unique in that the dryness is largely determined by the winemaker. To understand the process of making a champagne dryer or sweeter than usual, you will need to have a grasp on how the stuff is made.

Usually grapes are chosen at the height of their ripeness, when they contain a good deal of natural sugar. Yeast is added to the juice of those grapes, which converts their ample sugar into ample alcohol. The Champagne region, however, is an atypically cool region of France, in which grapes must be harvested before they are fully ripe. Their sugar content, therefore, is too low to make an alcohol of comparable fortitude. Champagne thus has sugar artificially added to it so that the yeast has more fuel to convert into alcohol. Obviously a winemaker can add greater or lesser amounts of sugar to alter the strength of the finished product -- and, of course, adding more sugar is going to make the champagne taste sweeter too. As you enjoy more and more glasses of champagne, you will develop a taste for whether you prefer it dry or sweet.

As a quick guide, here is a list of the levels of dryness that you can choose in your champagne:

Level of Dryness Amount of residual sugar per liter Extra Brut, Brut Sauvage, Ultra Brut, Brut Integral, Brut Zero .6% Brut 1.5% Extra Dry, Extra Sec 1.2 to 2.0% Sec 1.7 to 3.5% Demi-Sec 3.3 to 5.0% Doux (sweetest) 5% and up

Be warned, even if you are a sweet tooth, champagnes rated as Doux should be used only as a dessert wine. The most popular style will be Brut, and champagne makers save their best grapes for this category.

2. IMPRESS YOUR GUESTS WITH THESE FACTS

Having finally chosen the champagne you intend to drink, you can now turn to the business of impressing your date. Of course, you should recount to him or her all the factors that you have just considered: the marque, vintage, size, and dryness. But beyond mere technical considerations of any given glass, you will also want to drop a few choice factoids about this king of beverages. Here are a few that we recommend.

Invented by a monk

One of the most famous and esteemed types of champagne, Dom Perignon, is named after the individual who is often credited with the invention of the bubbles in champagne. The good Benedictine monk presided over the wine cellars at the Abby of Hautvillers in 1688. He wasn't so much the inventor of champagne as one of its chief promoters and perfecters. In fact, the bubbles that appeared in champagne were originally thought to be an imperfection, since the goal of the vineyard was to create an excellent still white wine. Because the grapes in this cold region of France had to be harvested before the winter frost -- and fermentation occurs only when it is sufficiently warm -- champagne underwent one fermentation before the winter, then another in the spring. This dual process of fermentation allowed carbon dioxide to build up in the bottles, creating the bubbles we love so much today. Dom Perignon excelled at combining various wines to create the ultimate blend released by each house.

Champagne was originally a still wine

Long before champagne had bubbles, it was a still wine and was considered one of the best in France.

Even red grapes can make white champagne

One of the primary grapes used in the making of champagne is Pinot Noir, which is a red (or black) variety of grape. The interior of a Pinot Noir grape, however, looks very similar to a green grape. When its juice is extracted, therefore, it will look the same as a white wine; i.e., a slightly amber hue. Only when the juice is allowed to sit with the skins and stems of the grapes, during a stage known as maceration, does the finished wine become red. Thus, a counterintuitive factoid is that much of the finest clear champagne in the world comes from red grapes.

Wine glasses were not taken from Marie Antoinette's breast

A common style of champagne glass is the coupe, which is shaped like a shallow bowl. Though no one you know will have heard this rumor, you can show off your knowledge of it and its falsity, by proclaiming that the coupe was not, in fact, modeled on Marie Antoinette's breast. That the two resemble one another is simply a typically French coincidence.

3. PREPARE, OPEN, AND POUR THE CHAMPAGNE

Unfortunately, you can't draw upon your years in the college Greek system to handle this stage of the evening. Eventually you will be called upon to open the champagne and pour it, and no matter how hard you look, you won't find a pop-top or spigot. If you do, it isn't champagne. We will tell you how to get through this process, but just like any new hobby, you are going to have to practice before you get the confidence and skill to pull this off on a big occasion.

  1. Chill
  2. Remove Cork
  3. Pour
  4. Drink

Chill

Like many beverages, champagne is best enjoyed at a cool temperature. You should be looking to pour it from the bottle at 43 to 48 degrees Fahrenheit or 7 degrees Celsius. If your bottle isn't yet that cool, you can chill it by either placing it in the refrigerator for a few hours (though not much longer unless you want it to taste like that left-over meatloaf) or by placing it in a bucket filled with a mixture of ice and water. If you need to chill it in a hurry, throw a handful of salt into that slush, which will reduce its temperature below zero and speed the chilling. In no event should you ever leave champagne to chill in your freezer -- it will screw up the balance of the alcohol and botch all that lovely expensive liquid.

Remove Cork

There are a few layers you need to cut through before you even get to the cork. First, pull off just enough foil to reveal the cork. The cork itself is protected in a wire cage. On the side of that cage, you will see a section of the wire twisted into a cute little handle. Pull that handle away from the side of the cage and untwist the wire. Be careful as you do so, and point the cork away from yourself and other favored persons -- there's a reason that wire is there. The cork can erupt at any time now, so keep a tight hold on it. Then, firmly gripping the cork with one hand, use your other hand to twist the bottle slowly and smoothly -- remember, twist the bottle, not the cork. You want the cork to emerge from the bottle with a gentle sigh, not a raucous pop. Think of it this way: the louder the pop, the fewer bubbles you will enjoy later. Be sure to point the cork away from your face and other valuables throughout this procedure, as your gentle opening might not come to pass if you have a particularly forward bottle, and a faceful of cork will not impress your guests one whit. Finally, while you are uncorking the bottle, you should keep a glass or two handy because if you do it wrong, you will need something to catch all the champagne as it comes flowing out of the bottle.

Pour

Selecting your glass deserves a little bit of consideration. There are two classic types of champagne glass: the coupe and the flute. Again, the coupe is not a breast. Nor is it considered an ideal glass for enjoying champagne. It was designed to allow the greatest surface area for the release of bubbles, which may feel cutesy and fun as they burst upon your face, but this indulgence lowers the ultimate quality of the glass. The flute, on the other hand, captures the bubbles and ensures that they are released more evenly across the life of the glass. Whichever you choose, be sure to clean it with only water and not soap, which can interfere with the bubbles and, of course, the taste. Oh, and you should definitely consider using a crystal glass. The surface of crystal is rougher than ordinary glass, which stimulates more bubbles in your champagne.

Once your glasses are selected and in place, hold the bottle by placing your thumb into the dimple at the bottom of the bottle, which is known as the "punt," and splay your fingers across the barrel of the bottle. Though this grip appears precarious, just try it and you'll see that you can retain a firm hold. Grasping it thus, wipe the rim of the bottle with a napkin to remove any dirt, and then pour a small splash into the bottom of each glass. Then return to each glass and fill it two-thirds full with champagne. This process will avoid the dreaded foaming over of the champagne. Remember: apart from decapitating someone with the cork, the most embarrassing move is to pour the precious fluid all over the floor.

Drink

So we have finally gotten to the stage where you can shove the booze into your gob. Not so fast, champ. First you need to know how to hold the stuff. The reason wine glasses have long stems is so that the heat of your hand will stay well away from the champagne, keeping the beverage closer to its optimal chilled temperature.

Before you drink in any of the champagne, you will want to take a quick look at the color of the liquid and the form of the carbonation. The ideal hue of champagne is a light amber, so be sure to announce to your interlocutors "what a fine shade of amber this bubbly is!" Also, the better champagnes release their bubbles in near vertical lines with uniformity; again, another element for you to exclaim upon thereby announcing your champagne knowledge publicly. Finally, when you do take a real taste, you are looking for what you always want in a grossly expensive beverage: something that tastes good. As you indulge in your new-found hobby more and more, you alone will be the best judge of your favorite champagnes.