3. STAY AWAY FROM THE FOLLOWING GIFTS

There is such a thing as a bad present.

  • Dumb awards. Unless your father actually thinks he's the "Number One Dad," don't mock him by getting him one of these dinky things. Same thing goes with the matching Number One Dad T-shirt, Number One Dad coffee mug, and Number One Dad paper shredder. These are only acceptable if you have a friend who is actually expecting his first child and you want to make a mushy sentimental statement.

  • Clothes. With the exception of a case where you've actually seen the recipient try on and put back the item of clothing because they didn't have the money to splurge on it, don't buy clothes for anybody. Chances are you'll get the wrong size, style, and/or color and your givee will be forced to wear the hideous thing once in front of you, then proceed to tuck it in the back of his/her closet and hope you forget about it soon. If you're set on clothes, you're much better off getting a gift certificate.

  • Figurines. No one likes and/or knows what to do with those things.

  • Offensive presents. You might think you're doing good by giving your overweight coworker an ab-roller for Christmas, but you're really just being a jerk. Think about what your presents are saying before you hand them over.

  • Presents that you actually want for yourself. Just because you want a remote-controlled monster truck doesn't mean your mom will appreciate it, especially when you ask to borrow the truck right after she takes it out of the box.

  • Too generic presents. Even though they are given often, mugs are never good presents except for people you barely know. Same thing goes with $10 worth of lottery tickets. In other words, stay away from gifts that say nothing except "I have no clue... so here."

  • Pets. There might be a reason why the recipient doesn't already have a dog or cat already. Pets are a big responsibility and it's a bad idea to push the recipient into that position without warning. Stick to sea monkeys, or perhaps a fish (if you know that he/she is an animal person) if you insist on giving something live.