5. LEARN THESE RULES ON GETTING GIFTS FOR A SIGNIFICANT OTHER

To ensure that your sweetie will still love you after the holidays are over, heed these following gift-giving rules.

  1. Start off slow. If you begin the relationship by dipping into your savings to buy your honey the pony he/she's always wanted, you're in trouble. Every present after that will have to be larger animal, or it'll seem like you're getting cheaper and less romantic. So while you shouldn't start off with a pack of Juicy Fruit either, we advise you to hold off on anything big until your relationship is at least six months old. You won't regret it, especially if you're one of those couples - you know, the ones that celebrate every half-week anniversary with another present. Please…we just ate.

  2. Don't give him/her something that you actually want. We felt we had to reiterate this point here because it seems to be a common problem among couples. Your girlfriend doesn't really want that pair of wrestling tickets and you know it. And girls, the same goes for those box seats at the ballet. (Hooray for furthering gender stereotypes!)

    The only exception to this rule is when guys buy lingerie for their girlfriends. While we all know that this is more a present for the guy than it is for the girl, girls benefit from the gift by knowing that their boyfriends find them sexy enough to pull off the number. So boys, it's your duty to make sure your girlfriends can pull off the number. Research her size and preferred color very carefully (ask her friends, not her mother) and invest in expensive material. It's hard for one to feel sexy when one in a nightie made of polyester.

  3. Choose an activity rather than an object. Because you guys exchange gifts so often, it's probably hard to keep finding new stuff to buy. Instead, consider spending the money on a carriage ride through the park, dinner at a really fancy restaurant, an amusement park visit, or a (wink, wink) hotel room.

  4. Cook. Especially if you don't do it often, whip up a meal for your sweetie. Read up on this option in "SYW Cook A Romantic Dinner?" If your dinner is impressive enough to enable you to… uhhhh… spend the night, then you'll probably need "SYW Cook A Romantic Breakfast?" as well.

  5. Communicate with each other. Just as you're struggling to find stuff to buy your boy/girlfriend for the numerous gift-exchanging occasions that pop up (Valentine's Day, Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries - who came up with all this crap?!), your significant other is probably struggling just as hard to figure out what you want. So give him/her a break and drop lots of hints. You'll benefit, too, by actually getting something you want!

OK, now stop reading and start buying. We'd offer to come along and help, but we hate shopping. It makes our little feetsies hurt.