You are SO lazy. So lazy, in fact, that you can't even feed yourself! Take a look:

  • At birth, you needed to feed from your mother's breast. Leech.

  • Until college, your parents (and the good folks at McDonald's) prepared most of your food.

  • At college, the dorm cafeteria lady (and the good folks at Budweiser) provided you with your necessary nutrients.

  • Since college, you've been subsisting on TV dinners, snacks, and fast food, with an occasional restaurant visit.

You desperately need to learn how to cook. Not only is cooking in your own kitchen much cheaper in the long run than the alternatives, but it'll also prepare you for when the time comes for you to feed your own children.

One problem: it does you no good to go out and buy the finest foods on earth if you have nothing to cook 'em with. So this SYW will provide you with the fundamentals of how to stock a brand new kitchen. We'll go over everything you need, including bowls, spoons, and garlic pressers (those are the little metal things that you used to put Play-Doh in to make spaghetti). Julia Child, eat your heart out.

1. DETERMINE YOUR KITCHEN NEEDS

When building your kitchen, there are some things that you absolutely require, and some things you can live without 'til you get married and can have other people buy you stuff. For those of you who are programmers and engineers at dot-coms, this doesn't apply to you: you dweebs can go to Crate and Barrel and buy two of everything. The rest of us need to first evaluate exactly what kind of kitchen we're building.

In order to evaluate your needs, consider the following issues:

  • Think about how often you cook. If you work 18-hour days, then you just need the bare basics; if you have lots of free time on your hands, then you can start a new hobby and get tons of fun equipment.

  • Think about the type of food you like. If you're a big fan of Chinese food, a wok and bamboo steamer should be on your list. If you love to bake, go heavy on the bakeware and measuring cups and skimp a little on the rest.

  • Think about the size of your kitchen. If you have a tiny kitchenette in your studio apartment, then you should get smaller items and forgo anything that takes up major counter space. Also, get pans that fit into each other to conserve cabinet space. If you have a large, full-size kitchen, then feel free to get space-hogging items like blenders and juicers.

In other words, use your brain, Scarecrow.