SOYOUWANNA BE A MAID OF HONOR?

5. TEND TO THE BRIDE ON THE BIG DAY

In addition to all the fun and games you'll be planning for the bride and her friends at the pre-wedding parties, your emotional (and sometimes physical) support is never more important to the bride than it will be on the actual wedding day. As her honorable "maid," you're expected to give her your full attention on the day of the wedding and be ready to help with anything that may come up.

Don't just ask, "How can I help?" Anticipate any needs the bride may have. If you know, for example, that the only way to calm her nerves is with a bag of peanut M&M's, be prepared to make a junk food run on the morning of the wedding. Assign a bridesmaid or two to take care of greeting the DJ and accepting flower deliveries. Make sure you're among the first guests at the ceremony and double check that all the bridesmaids have the correct bouquets. Some other tasks to take care of:

• Make sure the bride's looking good. Show up at the bride's house several hours before the wedding to help her get prettied up. Throughout the day, help her adjust her veil, fix her hair when it falls down, and apply more make-up if she needs it. Be prepared to go through this process several times-the bride wants to look her best on her wedding day, and if she hasn't hired a professional hair stylist or make-up artist to be with her every step of the way, you're the next best thing. Encourage the bride and tell her sincerely that she looks beautiful at all times. Even if she has turned as white as her gown and her hands are trembling from nervousness, let her know that she is the most stunning woman in the room (even compared to the groom's Angelina Jolie lookalike ex-girlfriend in the third row). Before she walks down the aisle, bustle her train and make sure she's comfortable walking with several feet on her dress trailing behind her. And no matter what, don't tell her about any of the mishaps that have already occurred. Handle 'em yourself.
  
  
• Do your part during the ceremony. We hope your hands are free during the actual ceremony because you're going to be responsible for holding a lot of things. (Except that, you perv.) First off is the groom's ring, which will probably be presented to you on a velvet pillow by an adorable little ringbearer. Most maid of honor dresses aren't equipped with pockets, so make sure to place the ring on your thumb or index finger for safe keeping until you pass it over to the bride. While the couple is exchanging vows, grab the bride's bouquet and return it to her before she walks back down the aisle. The bride might ask you and the best man to sign the marriage license, so be prepared to hand off your bouquet to a bridesmaid when you are ready to sign. If you are attending a Jewish wedding, the bride might ask that you save the glass shards left on the floor when the groom breaks a glass with his foot. If this is the case, be sure to have a cloth napkin on hand so you don't get cut. Shedding blood during the ceremony is not a requirement for most maids of honor.
  
  
• Do your part at the reception. At the start of the reception, you and the other bridal party members will most likely be positioned in the receiving line, which basically means you'll line up near the DJ and clap as the newly married couple is announced and walks in. If the bride requests that you circulate among the guests after this occurs, ask the other bridesmaids to assist you. Show the party-goers where they can find their placecards, ask them to sign the guest book if the bride has one, and be prepared to receive gifts and place them in their designated area.
  
  The bride might be a little overwhelmed with all the events taking place. Take her aside for a moment near the beginning of the reception and calm her down a bit if she needs it. Offer her food, drinks and encouragement. Be ready to accompany her on trips to the bathroom throughout the event. Further the stereotype that women always go to the bathroom in groups.
  
  After the best man gives his toast, it is not uncommon for you to say a few words either. If you're not so good at speaking off the cuff, make sure you have notes or a short speech (Oscar-length is about right) on hand.
  
  
• Be friendly and out-going. Talk to guests who look lonely. Be the first one on the dance floor and encourage other guests to join you. You are somewhat of a hostess at the reception and you should encourage everyone to enjoy themselves. Dance with the best man during the first formal dance, even if he's a dork. Next, dance with the groomsmen, the groom, the bride's brother, the groom's father, and the bride's great uncle Ernie. At least you'll burn a few calories.
  
  
• Bring tissues. As happy of an occasion as a wedding is, there's always a lot of crying involved. Whether the bride is brought to tears because she's so happy to start her new life with her one true love or because the best man stepped on her pinky toe during the last dance, she's gonna need tissues in order to keep her makeup job intact. No sense seeing a bunch of Tammy Fayes running around.
  
  
• Help the bride get un-dressed. Getting the bride dressed and ready for the ceremony was a big task, and she'll need help once again when she changes for the honeymoon after the reception. Help her out of her dress and into her regular clothes and adjust her hair and make-up again if she needs it. In some cases, maids of honor are trusted with the gown after the reception and are responsible for keeping it until the bride returns. Ask the bride before the wedding if she'll want you to do this and arrange for a place to store the dress while she is away.
  
  
• Enjoy yourself. Planning this wedding was just as hard for you as it was for the bride, and you deserve to celebrate! Keep the bride laughing and in good spirits throughout the evening and see to it that you have a great time as well. And try to catch that damn bouquet. That way, next time someone else can do all the grunt work.