Place a mental check mark next to the statement that describes you best:

  • You're sick of that lame single ear piercing you've had since sixth grade.

  • You just got dumped and want to look more "edgy."

  • You've spent countless hours with that damn ab roller and are determined to draw attention to your washboard tummy.

We don't care what your answer is; all of these are perfectly acceptable reasons for getting pierced someplace other than your boring ol' lobe. But before you let some guy named Spike attack you with a Day-Glo needle during "piercing hour" at the local all-night rave, you'd better read on. In this handy little guide to body adornment, you'll discover everything you need to know about choosing a safe parlor, getting the right piercing for your lifestyle, and caring for your newly-altered body parts once the deed is done.

1. PICK THE BODY PART YOU WANT TO PIERCE

First off, you should decide which area to target. If you're plagued with some extra insulation on your mid-section, then you should probably skip the bellybutton ring. If you have chronic allergies, then just say no to the nose ring. Whatever you do, don't get discouraged: as long as you have a body, you've got a place to pierce. Here are the four most-often pierced locales:

Bellybutton
Tongue
Face
Genital areas

Bellybutton

Bellybutton rings (or if you want to sound more impressive, "navel rings") can be a sexy addition to a nicely toned stomach. If you're an athlete, a dancer, or anyone else who uses the body excessively, however, you should probably re-consider targeting this region. Changing clothes frequently, falling to the ground, tackling people, and sweating a lot will not allow the piercing to heal properly (read: nasty infections). But the benefits of a bellybutton ring are:

  • It's a low-key yet interesting place for jewelry.

  • It's easy to hide if you only want a select few to see it.

  • If something (heaven forbid) goes wrong, it's better to get an infection on your bellybutton than on your tongue, face, or genitalia.

Tongue

Keep in mind that the tongue is one of the strongest muscles in the human body, so it is capable of a lot of wonderful pleasures (as well as pain). Lots of people get their tongues pierced for purely sexual reasons. Ironically, no kissing or oral sex is allowed during the healing period, which lasts three to four weeks, but we'll get to more about that later. Consider, though, that if you are prone to oral fixations (chewing on pens, eating lots of candy, or talking too much), this one isn't for you.

Face

The face offers a myriad of piercing options, most commonly the eyebrow, nose, lip and chin. Because the face is so out-there-in-the-open, these piercings will be very difficult to hide if need be. They can be quite funky, however, and are perfect for free-spirited, pre-corporate youths. If you're an athlete, though, avoid all of these, except maybe the nose. Unless you like getting tugged around by a bloody metal rod attached to your brow.

Genital areas

Nothing like a barbell through the ol' Johnson to get the party started, eh? Be rational. While genital piercings can make you scream with pleasure in the bedroom, they can also make you scream with pain in your piercer's chair. These are very sensitive regions we're dealing with, and are often prone to infections.

For a detailed look at all your piercing options (both X-rated and not) -as well as how much they'll cost - check out the guides below. The prices may seem a little bit steep, but this is the range you should expect from a top-notch piercing salon. Yeah, we know you can get a $10 nose ring from your roommate's cousin Vito, but it's always best to loosen the purse strings in the name of safety and hygiene.

UNISEX PIERCINGSAVERAGE PRICE
(for ring/barbell) Ear (lobe) $20 Ear (all other parts) $30 / $60 Nose (nostril) $35 Nose (septum) $25 / $30 Eyebrow $35 / $60 Navel $35 / $55 Tongue $60 Labret/lip/cheek $55 Nipples $35 (single) / $55 (pair)
FEMALE GENITALSAVERAGE PRICE
(for ring/barbell) Labia Majora (outer lip of the vagina) $35 (single) / $55 (pair) Labia Minora (inner lip of the vagina) $35 (single) / $55 (pair) Clitoris $35 / $60 Verticle Clit Hood $60 Horizontal Clit Hood $35
MALE GENITALSAVERAGE PRICE
(for ring/barbell) Scrotum $35 Dydoes (the sides of the head of the penis) $60 (single) / $100 (set) Apadravya (through the head of the penis, right in the center from top to bottom) $60 Ampallang (through the head of the penis, right in the center from side to side) $60 Frenum (the loose skin under the penis right near the head) $60 Prince Albert (a ring that passes through the top part of the urethra)

$60