The word "résumé" originates from French, meaning "to summarize." Damn French. Because of their stupid word, you now have to condense your entire lifetime onto one piece of paper, with the desperate hope that someone who reads it will instantly know what a great person you are, and give you a high-paying job.

But you, my friend, are completely misguided if you think that that's what your résumé will get you. The purpose of your résumé is NOT to get you a job. "What?!" you say. "Years of classical conditioning have instructed me that if I write a good résumé, I'll get a good job!" Sorry, but you've been had. The purpose of a résumé is to get an interview, not a job. Once you get in the door, it's your winning personality and discussion of your lifetime of experiences that will get you the job. You could have the most brilliant résumé in the world, but if you walk into an interview and do nothing but drool on yourself, that résumé will be worthless (unless the job consists of massive drooling, or you are an actor portraying a two-year-old). But drool no more, for today, you will learn how to put together the perfect résumé: one that will play up your experience, play down your liabilities, and at least improve your chances at eventually acquiring your dream cubicle.

One footnote: we will be working under the assumption that you are either still in, or have recently graduated from college. If you've been out in the real world (or sleeping on your mom's couch) for more than a couple of years, this all still applies to you. The only main difference is that you'll have to talk more about your work experience, whereas recent college grads can add stuff like school activities to their résumés.

1. MAKE A HUGE LIST

Before you sit down to write (or fix) that résumé, the very first thing you should do is make a list of everything you've ever done or accomplished in your entire life. This means everything: every single job, award, honor, volunteer work, skill, language, hobby, wart, bad dream, and witty retort. Try to make the list chronological, starting with your most recent accomplishments, and working your way backward right up until you received your Quickest Passage Through The Birth Canal Award. We shall deem this list your "Fat List." Henceforth, when we speaketh of your Fat List, we speaketh of the list of your life, not the list of your daily fatty foods intake. Take very good care of this list. It is your new best friend.

Why the need for such a list? Three reasons:

  1. Because you can now keep this list, add to it as you accomplish more things in your life, and pick and choose as you tailor your résumé for different job positions.

  2. Because it's really really hard to remember everything off the top of your head, so this list will function as a reminder of those little details that may really impress a prospective employer.

  3. Because seeing everything you've done on one list will help you remember things you've done that you can't fit on your résumé, but can still bring up in an interview.

All too often, people will look at their résumés, and hear a nagging voice in the back of their head telling them that something's missing. With a Fat List, you can rid yourself of such voices, or at least get them to change their messages to more interesting topics of conversation. Now don't get too detailed with this list. You don't have to write down everything you did at each job, or how much you won for a particular scholarship. Just write down the name of the event and the date that it happened.

But we understand that even writing a simple Fat List can be tough. It's a lot of information at one place. So what you should do is organize your Fat List into the following sections:

  1. Education: Where you went going to school, what your GPA was, a list of classes you took, what your major/minor was. If you're still in school, then your most up-to-date information is fine.

  2. Employment: All jobs you've ever had, and the dates that you had them through, including all volunteer work. If nuns made you do it, it still counts.

  3. Activities: All school activities in which you participated. Write them all down. If you held any leadership positions or started the group yourself, throw that in too.

  4. Honors: These are academic, athletic, or community awards or scholarships. Phi Beta Kappa, Magna Cum Laude, and the George Jetson Scholarship of the Future would all be included here.

  5. Skills: If you speak any languages (even if only at a conversational level), all of your computer knowledge, especially of complicated programs, if you know how to operate heavy machinery, all that stuff goes into the "skills" category. This is like the potpourri category of stuff you know how to do, but nobody has really cared much so far.

2. TAILOR THE RESUME TO THE JOB

Phew! By now, you've finished making your Fat List, and you're ready to tackle actually writing the resume. The first thing to do is see what the job you're applying for is like. Every resume you send out should be tailor-made for that exact job. As convenient as it can be to just make one resume, mass copy it, and throw it from the rooftops hoping an eccentric millionaire will pick it up, effective resumes are written specifically for the person /company to whom you are sending it.

The biggest tip we can give you is this: put your best assets as far to the top of the resume as possible. This might be your education, or if you've been out of school for a little while (two or more years), your employment history. But keep in mind that your resume will not be looked at for more than 30 seconds, and no one's going to start reading at the bottom of the page. Now, the kind of job for which you are applying may affect what your "best assets" are. So what you need to do is pick the optimal resume format.

Of course, your resume will have all of the important pieces of information that all good resumes should have. Your name at the top, your contact information, and different sections that clearly label your education, work experience, skills, and possibly college activities. Many resumes will mush or separate work experience in creative ways, but as far as pure information is concerned, these are the basics. Click here to see an example of a typical resume. (To look at this file, download Adobe Acrobat Reader, available here for free.) But to make sure that your resume is tailored to your prospective employer, you should make sure that the resume format you use is the most effective one. The three most common are the chronological resume, the functional resume, and the curriculum vitae. Others may call these styles by different names, but you'll recognize that each has particular strengths, depending on what you've done with your life.

Chronological Résumé

This is the resume style that most students use for their first resume. It's called "chronological" because under the "employment" section, it lists your most recent experience first, and works backwards to your least recent experience. Note how it puts the work experience in one big lump, and works backwards. Employers usually prefer this type of resume, because it's simple, easy to read, and straightforward. It is never more than one page.

Functional Résumé

A functional resume is common among those who have garnered a potpourri of work experience, are changing fields, and want to emphasize their translatable skills. For instance, if you were interested in a job as an office manager, you might split your resume into two sections: "Management" and "Organization." Then you would list in each section accomplishments that you achieved, without necessarily specifying where these achievements took place. The point, rather, is to argue that you have the necessary skills by proving competence in key areas. After these two sections, you include a small employment history section, which merely lists where you worked and your dates of employment.

The functional resume also works well if you have a mixed bag of work experience with a loose thread holding them all together. The functional resume will allow you to emphasize that loose thread, and make your employment history look united. It's also good for when your job titles (e.g., Administrative Assistant) don't give a good indication of the things that you did. If possible, keep your information within each section chronological, because people always assume that stuff at the top is the most recent anyway. It is never more than one page.

Curriculum Vitae

Also called a "C.V.," a curriculum vitae is a resume that is often used when entering a teaching or science position. This resume not only is longer than one page, but it can be as long as you want (10 pages, 20 pages, however long it takes). A C.V. includes all the stuff that the other resumes do, but it also lists every single publication ever received, every project worked on, every honor awarded, and every bit of education received.

So let's pretend that you've researched the company to which you are sending your resume, and you've chosen to use the chronological style. Now it's time to realize that you can't keep everything. You have to decide what goes and what stays, to keep your resume down to one page. If you're trying to get a sense of proportion, devote about five to seven lines to education, list at least four previous jobs (with about three to six lines explaining each job), and about two lines to skills. So look at the job description, look at your Fat List, and mix and match. If you took courses in college that are relevant to the position, then feel free to list those under your education section. But the goal is NOT to overwhelm the reader with information. We all have lives and could talk about them endlessly. The goal is to list the relevant information that will help get your foot into the door. This includes things that are directly related, as well as things that might not be directly related to the job position, but have applicable skills (communication, leadership, organization, bilingualism, all the kind of stuff bosses wish they had).

In your education and employment history, you need to include certain details:

  • the name of the company/school
  • the dates worked/attended (start and finish)
  • the city in which this took place
  • for the job history, a description of what you did (you'll get more details about this in step 3)

A last word about the "Objective" section of your resume. Theologians and personnel directors have oft argued whether an objective section is necessary on a resume. The objective section is the first line of your resume, right under your name and contact information, which states what you are looking for in a job. We recommend you have an objective on your resume. Yes, it takes up space, but it also makes it look like you have direction, know what you are looking for in a job, and that you took the time to research the company and know what they can offer you. They usually are five to ten words long, but those are an important five to ten words.

So in summary (or as the French might say, au resume), you have to research the position for which you are applying, choose your experiences off your Fat List that directly apply to the position, and make sure that all of the things you choose will somehow enhance your stature as an employee.

3. MAKE YOUR STUFF SOUND GOOD WITHOUT LYING

We reiterate, NEVER lie on a résumé. Neither should you exaggerate, embellish, distort, or do anything else that our Thesaurus picked out as being synonymous to "bullshit." There are several problems with lying on a résumé, with the biggest problem being that it's immoral. But for those of you without Jiminy Crickets, consider that if a lie is ever discovered, you will most likely be immediately fired, and your nose will grow. And besides, you can make the stuff that you have done sound so good that you won't need to lie. In order to make your stuff sound good, you should adopt three strategies:

  1. Write action-oriented sentences
  2. Use details
  3. Recognize your talents

Write action-oriented sentences

This means that you should make your previous experiences sound as pro-active as possible. Make it sound like you solved problems, achieved goals, accomplished tasks. One of the most common résumé blunders is to describe a work experience as follows: "Responsibilities included: filing, answering phones, copying." At all costs, stay away from "responsibilities included" statements. Instead, set up a problem that existed, and say how you solved it. For example: "Raised $20,000 in funding, a 400% increase from the previous year." This description makes it sound like you actually did stuff, and shows that you solved a problem. Another example:

The following is a list of action-oriented verbs:

accomplish achieve acquire adapt administer analyze assemble balance budget collaborate compile composed conduct coordinate communicate compile conduct contribute complete create delegate design develop direct double edit engage establish evaluate expand forecast found generate implement improve insure interpret increase initiate instruct invent lead maintain manage motivate negotiate operate organize oversee participate perform present plan produce promote propose provide publish recruit reorganize research review select solve supervise survey support teach train travel

Notice how these words also imply action. Notice how passive words like "do" are not included. These words above help you sell yourself. If you're talking about a job you still have, use the present tense. If it's a job you've left, use the past tense.

It bears repeating: the best way to sell yourself is to describe your employment history in a "problem-solution" format, where you state both what the problem was before you entered, and how you fixed the problem. This type of critical thinking is the most sought-after quality by employers.

Use details

Nothing impresses people like details. Don't just say "raised money," say "raised over $2,400." The more details you use, the more legitimate candidate you seem to be, because (1) people remember details more than general statements, and (2) details lend credibility. So always be as detailed as possible without getting wordy.

Recognize your talents

Finally, you must realize that you've done a lot of stuff in your life, and if you think about it, you've gained a lot of useful skills. Projectile nose-blowing doesn't count, as useful as it may be, but you've also accomplished many things that employers really want. Were you a Residential Assistant in college? That means that you may have conducted meetings, organized activities for large audiences, coordinated events, communicated with students, and responded to needs that you recognized. Don't just say "Residential Assistant: In charge of college students if they had problems." Instead, think about the stuff you did do, like "Residential Assistant: Organized and implemented weekly activity sessions for over 100 college freshmen." See how that at least makes it sound like you did stuff? Here's another example:

Salesperson, Gap Clothing Store, Los Angeles, California (Summer 1995). Assisted clients with selections of clothing, developed and promoted special marketing events, trained new employees, monitored cash. Store increased in sales by 7 percent in 6 month period.

Sell yourself. Your résumé is going to be read by a person, so if you're not impressed, they won't be impressed either.

4. MAKE IT EASY TO READ

This is where most people freak out about résumé-writing. When you hear people bitch about font choice, font size, margins, bolding, indenting, and capping, all they're worrying about is making the résumé pretty. We have several good tips on how to make your résumé easy to read.

Less is more

Take out as many articles (e.g., the, an) as possible. Don't over-explain things. And it's ok to have white space on the résumé. It makes it easier to read. Along the same lines, do not justify the margins of your résumé (they sometimes make sentences look weird, because it forces the spacing). Instead, make the right margin "jagged."

Make sure your name stands out

Make your name in a bigger font, put it in all capitals, bold it, do whatever you have to do to make sure that your interviewer can glance down and easily read your name. If your name happens to sound gender neutral (e.g., Robin Williams, Jamie Gumm), then try adding your middle name if it helps clarify things. If it doesn't (e.g., Soon Yoo Park), then it is acceptable to place a "Mr." or "Ms." In front of your name.

Do not use wacky fonts

Unless the potential job is for advertising, design, or some other creative field, you should stick to the traditional easy-to-read fonts, such as Times, Palatino, Helvetica, or Ariel. There is a very good reason for this: many companies scan received résumés into a computer. If you have crazy fonts, the computer will mis-scan your résumé and all the reader will see is gobbledygook. Along the same line, make sure that you don't fold the résumé along a line of text, or the ink could flake off.

Highlight what you want to be read

The most important items should be bolded, underlined, capped, or highlighted in some way which will draw attention to them. For instance, the name of your college, and the name of each company you worked for should stand out. Look at this sample résumé.

Be consistent

Whatever you do, be it with capitalization, italicizing, bolding, indenting, whatever it is, keep it consistent throughout the résumé. If you don't the reader will think that you either screwed up, or that you don't pay attention to detail.

There are thousands of pieces of advice we could give about formatting your résumé, but the best advice we could give is for you to look through different examples, see which one you like the best, and copy the style. Don't worry, it's not stealing unless you copy all their employment history too. We highly suggest Yana Parker's book Résumé Catalog: 200 Damn Good Examples.

5. PROOFREAD THAT BABY

This is your final chance to change anything. Check to make sure that the margins are even, that your formatting is consistent, that you don't have any spelling errors, and that you put your current and permanent contact information. Don't get too crazy about how things look. There is no "right" way. Just remember that it should look as professional as possible, on 8.5 by 11 inch paper (either white or off-white résumé paper), and it should be so easy to read, that a ten second scan would tell the reader that you have many marketable skills.

After you've proofread your résumé so many times that your eyeballs hurt, give it to your mother, brother, sister, nephew, dog, midget, Eskimo, and nun so that they can all tear it apart ruthlessly. They will catch any mistakes that you missed, and also provide helpful suggestions. It is absolutely imperative that you get as many eyeballs on your résumé as possible. You must NOT, under any circumstances, have any typographical mistakes on your résumé. This is very, very important! Résumés with typos are usually thrown into the trash.

The final touch on your résumé: at the bottom, put "References Available Upon Request." Then, when you go into the interview, at the end you should hand the interviewer a nice, smooth sheet of paper with your references on them (full name, address, telephone number, and relation to you), and your name and contact information nice and big at the top.

And that's that! All that's left is for you to look at as many example résumés as possible, to get a sense of what works. Remember to send 10% of every paycheck to SoYouWanna.net as a token of your gratitude, but until then, happy job hunting! 6. More Resources

If after all this great advice you still need more tips on How to Write a Resume, we won't fault you. We'll just refer you to the Careers & Work Experts at eHow.

And finally, for a funny example of what NOT to put on your resume, check out this funny article> How to Ace Your First Job Interview