4. CHOOSE A STONE

Get a diamond. Get a diamond. Get a diamond. Shut up, suck it up, and get her a diamond. Yes, yes, it's becoming trés fashionable to get other jewels, such as emeralds, sapphires, aquamarine, topaz, and tourmaline. But unless you are sure that she HATES diamonds, just play it safe and go for the diamond. Why? The same reason people buy bluejeans: it's traditional, and it matches everything. Many a little girl has gone to sleep at night dreaming about her first diamond ring. And think of it this way: you'll be contributing to an $18 billion per year business.

When buying a diamond, you are going to pay attention to four things: clarity, color, cut, and carat. These are wittily referred to as the 4 Cs. Do not buy a diamond unless it has been independently appraised for all four of these qualities. Why? Because jewelers LIE. So this is how you can be sure that your diamond is legit:

Make sure that the diamond has a "cert." This is a written document that lists the clarity, color, cut, and carat of the diamond, so you can know what you're buying. You know the cert is accurate, because it has been independently appraised by the GIA, IGI, EGL, or AGS (these are the only four acceptable appraisal organizations; look for the stamp on the cert). Don't concern yourself with what any of these letters stand for. All that matters is that the diamond must have been looked at by an unbiased pair of eyeballs, and appraised for the 4 Cs.

If the jeweler can't provide a legitimate cert for the diamond, then don't buy it under any circumstances until it has been appraised by an independent expert. For a referral to an independent appraiser in your area, call the International Gemological Institute at (212) 753-7100, and they'll take you through the steps of how to get a diamond appraised.

Now back to our 4 Cs: clarity, color, cut, and carat. For laypeople like us, these are the only clues we have for knowing whether we're getting ripped off or not. So read and memorize the shortcuts for each C that will make you a wary buyer.

Clarity

A diamond's clarity is the primary factor in determining its price. "Clarity" refers to how easily you can see any imperfections in the diamonds, be they on the surface ("blemishes") or inside the diamond ("inclusions"). Why does it matter? Because fewer flaws = more light reflected = more sparkle. And we all want the sparkliest diamond we can get.

The Gemological Institute of America (GIA), the organization which sets the worldwide standards for diamonds, set up a scale by which shmoes like you and me can judge a diamond's clarity. The scale goes like this: flawless, internally flawless, VVS1, VVS2, VS1, VS2, SI1, SI2, I1, I2, I3. Flawless diamonds mean that you can't see any imperfections under 10X magnification, and I3 diamonds are ones where Mr. Magoo would see the imperfections. So what does this mean? It means that when you go to the jeweler and ask about a diamond and (s)he tells you its clarity grade, you'll know what you're getting. Now here's the most important thing to know: unless you're an oil tycoon or want to blow a lot of cash, get a VS or SI diamond. While technically imperfect, you cannot tell these diamonds are flawed unless you look at them under a microscope. In fact, we bet that if you looked at a SI2 and VVS1 next to each other after they'd been set in a ring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. All that matters is that you think it's pretty.

Color

The color of a diamond ranges from colorless (clear) to a faint yellow. The more colorless the diamond, the more expensive it is (see previous statement about sparkliness). Now there are other types of diamonds that have color and are crazy expensive. There are red, green, and canary yellow diamonds. And don't forget that big blue diamond from the Titanic. But again, unless you're sure your bride-to-be wants one of those, it's better to stick with the traditional colorless diamond. Get the blue one for your first anniversary.

Remember our friends at the Gemological Institute of America? Well, they not only grade clarity, but they also grade color. Here's the scale:

  • DEF=colorless
  • GHIJ=near colorless
  • KLM=faint yellow
  • NOPQR=very light yellow
  • STUVWXYZ=light yellow
  • Fancy light, fancy, fancy internal=yellow

Whoever would've guessed that getting a D would be such good news? The closer you are to D, the more expensive the rock. For some reason, the scale starts at D; there are no A, B, or C diamonds. But could you tell the difference between a D and a J? Well, maybe. But only if they were loose, right next to each other, and you looked very, very hard. If they were both in rings, then probably not. In a nutshell: don't feel compelled to go for the D.

Cut

This is the diamond's shape. The most popular shapes are the 58-facet round cut and oval cut (which have 58 flat faces surrounding the flat top of the diamond). Not surprisingly, this means that the diamond looks round or like an oval when in the ring. Other interesting cuts include the princess cut and emerald cut (which are more square-looking). So when you go to look at rings, ask for a variety of cuts and see which you like best.

Now a lot of people forget about paying attention to the cut, instead focusing on clarity and color. But the cut is just as important as the clarity and color in determining a ring's sparkliness and price tag. For diamonds of the same size, about 1/3 of their value is clarity, 1/3 color, and 1/3 cut. Why is cut so important? Because the angles of a diamond's cut are a large factor in determining its sparkliness. For those of you who are not in the mood to hear a long explanation involving physics equations, here's what it boils down to: when light enters the ring, it goes in at a certain angle and bounces all around at other angles. These angles are what determines the sparkle. If the proportions are wrong, you can get a big, heavy diamond with no sparkle. And what fun is that? So how can you use your knowledge of a diamond's cut to your advantage? Well, it's difficult. A diamond with a good cut means that all the faces are in the right proportions to each other, and different shapes (emerald, oval, round) have different "perfect" angles. But the easiest way to estimate the cut is by the diamond's sparkle. The more sparkle, the better the cut and the greater the diamond's value.

Carat

This is how much the diamond weighs, which in turn determines its size. As cooking has ounces and pounds, and farming has bushels and pecks, diamonds use carats, points, and grains. 1 carat weighs .20 grams. But since diamonds almost never come out in nice round numbers (like 1.00 carat), jewelers use "points." 1 point = 1/100th of a carat, or if you prefer, 1 carat = 100 points. So if a diamond weighs 0.64 carat, you can say with great expertise (and, preferably, an English accent) that it weighs 64 points.

But how big is a carat? Well, a 50 point diamond (0.5 carat) is the size of a small pea. On the other end of the scale, Richard Burton gave Liz Taylor a 69 carat diamond (6900 points). It's the size of a golf ball. Veeeeeery practical. Scratch an itch, and take out an eye. Here's a little chart that compares a diamond's weight to how much it's worth, with all other things being equal (good clarity, color, and cut):

  • 0.5 carat, $1,500
  • 1.0 carat, $5,000
  • 1.5 carat, $8,700
  • 2.0 carat, $13,000
  • 3.0 carat, $22,000

Now think of points like pennies. 100 pennies to a dollar, and 100 points to a carat. A diamond's weight can also be measured using a term called a "grain." This is .25 a carat, or 25 points. It's exactly like a quarter to a dollar. For those of you who have not been keeping up: 1 carat = 100 points = 4 grains. Now imagine how smart you'd look if you went into a jewelry store and asked to look at a 5 grain diamond. We know. We know. You were told there'd be no math. We lied.

Don't worry though. Most of this carat/point/grain gobbledygook is not critical. It's just interesting to know. The only reason why you have to know about the carat is because it gives you a basis on which to compare diamonds. If you decide on the size of the diamond, then you can compare diamonds on the basis of clarity, color, and cut, and not worry about the size of the thing. If the diamonds you're perusing are all too pricey, it is better to move a notch down the carat scale and get a smaller diamond, than to get a crappier version of a big diamond. Unless of course, your girlfriend is obsessed with size. And we don't (nor do we want to) know her that well.

One last note: when comparing diamonds, always compare them loose, and not when they're in the ring. It's easier to see imperfections that way and make sure that you don't get screwed over. And once you've picked out the ring, make sure the jeweler "plots" (draws up) all of the imperfections on a piece of paper, so you can be sure that the ring you want is the ring you get.