5. EMBARK ON YOUR NEW LIFE

Once you are happy with your new self, the possibilities are limitless. Whether you have decide to live as a woman merely through your clothing, or if you take hormones, or if you go for the full overhaul, you're hopefully feeling a little more comfortable with yourself.

The next big struggle is to learn how to deal with the social ramifications of your new life. Unless your sex change is part of your placement in the Witness Protection Program, you probably will know at least a couple of people (parents, close friends, parole officer) to whom you're going to have a bit of 'splaining to do.

Our first recommendation is that you join a support group in your area. This will help you meet other transsexuals who are in various stages of the exact same process, and it will give you a venue to vent any emotions you have. The websites listed at the end of this article all provide resources for finding such support groups.

Second, you must be prepared to answer questions about your operation and your feelings. People will ask you incredibly repetitive questions, such as:

Q: Can you have children?
A: "Only if I adopt them. I don't have a uterus or eggs, so I can't bear my own children."

Q: Will you get all PMS-y and stuff now?
A: "No. I don't have a uterus or eggs, so I won't menstruate. My bad moods will be legitimate."

Q: Why did you do it?
A: "Because this is who I am. This is who I'm supposed to be."

Of course, the answers won't be the same (we just put them in as potential suggestions), but you should definitely prepare a repertoire of answers for such questions. You'll also be asked intensely personal questions such as: "How did your parents react?" "Can you, you know, orgasm?" "Do you sleep with men or women?" These questions are nobody's business but your own, so don't ever feel obliged to answer anything. You'll figure out what level of information you're comfortable revealing and when you're comfortable revealing it.

Third, realize that most of the questions and comments you'll hear come from a real lack of knowledge, not meanness. Please be as tolerant of others as you'd like them to be of you.

Finally, NEVER be afraid to assert your own rights; you have just as much a right to a job, family, and life as anyone else has. So if you feel that you are experiencing any kind of discrimination, report it to the proper level of authority. In many companies, for instance, it is illegal to not hire someone because they had a sex change.

Here are those other sites we promised you. Poke around and learn some more:

www.transsexual.org
www.genderPAC.org
www.PFLAG.org
www.tgforum.com