7. COUNT YOUR MONEY

Yes, you will probably get paid. How much? Well, it depends. One center advertises rates of $1 to $45, depending on the quality of sample. Another center promises up to $200 a week for weekly donations for 6 months. The thing is, it's relatively easy to get sperm (much easier than to get eggs, at least) so don't plan on retiring from your sperm donation proceeds. But don't be despondent. High quality sperm from a good candidate will get a very good price (several thousand dollars a year). But to find banks that pay that much (and that won't sell your baby's organs in Nicaragua), we again advise you to ask your doctor for a recommendation. It's not easy to get the top money, but it's definitely worth a shot.

And that, dear friend, is how to become an accepted sperm donor. The entire process can take anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months, and you often will have to leave many many many samples before they accept you. And remember, less than 5% of all applicants are approved (from the good banks, at least), so don't be discouraged. Good luck, and remember to keep on doing what comes naturally.