Even though tea has been called a miracle plant, doing everything from helping you lose weight to fighting cancer, it still seems so random that people actually read tea leaves in order to predict future events. You might as well try to "read" a toilet bowl or a piece of gum. Where in the world did the practice come from? Tasseography, as it is sometimes called, is an ancient Chinese practice that spread to Europe with nomadic gypsies in the mid-1800s. And while most people don't take the art of tea-leaf reading too seriously anymore, it is nonetheless a fascinating hobby.
For all you pop culture enthusiasts out there, references to tea-leaf reading can be found in everything from books (Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes), to TV shows (admittedly, mostly on soap operas or X-Files knockoffs), to really bad movies (anything on USA Network).
Sure, it's possible to have your tea leaves read online, but it's so much cooler to know how to do it yourself. It's a GREAT way to completely freak out your friends and mess them up for life. Read on to find out if it's your cup of tea.
1. MAKE THE TEA CORRECTLY
OK, we’ll assume that since you’re reading this article, boredom plays a definable role in your life. For a successful tea-leaf reading, all you’ll need is a melodramatic demeanor, a few kitchen supplies, and a gullible friend that looks equally bored. What you need:
- Loose tea, any flavor. “Loose” tea does not refer to its sexual proclivities; rather, it means that you’re using actual tea leaves that float loose in your cup instead of using a tea bag. We recommend that you use a Chinese tea or one with a minimum of fine-grained dust. If you like your subject (the one whose future you are going to read), let him choose a favorite flavor. If not, use the nastiest flavor you can find.
- A white or pastel teacup with a wide brim. It needs to be white, or you won’t be able to read the dark leaves at the bottom, and it should have a wide brim so that the leaves have a greater area to stick to at the bottom of the cup. If you’re at work, a Styrofoam cup will do, but we’ll have to tell your boss that you’re slacking (…as if she doesn’t already know).
- A wide saucer.
- A teaspoon.
- Place a teapot full of water on the stove. Oh, and make sure the stove is on.
- Place the dry tea leaves on a saucer. Have your friend stir them around while the water is boiling. Murmur something unintelligible during this stage for drama’s sake.
- Ask your friend to throw some leaves into the pot (the amount doesn’t matter).
- Brew the tea without a strainer, making sure that the leaves are loose within the pot.
- After the tea starts steaming, have your friend pour some into the cup.
- Let it cool. Sit around, relax, work on your résumé, play poker, whatever.
2. HAVE THE SUBJECT DRINK THE TEA PROPERLY
What? How can there be a wrong way to drink tea, aside from spilling it all over yourself? The answer is that you’re not making tea… you’re making “tea-leaf reading” tea, which means that you and your subject have to follow a procedure:
- When the tea is almost at room temperature, have your subject sip it and concentrate on a specific question—perhaps something that’s been bothering him lately. If he can’t think of anything, then we’re sorry to tell you that your subject is a weirdo. But you probably already knew that. In this case, perhaps you’ll want to try your hand at a general prediction. Just have your subject clear his mind while sipping the tea instead of focusing on something in particular.
- Tell your subject to leave a tiny bit of liquid and most of the tea leaves in the bottom of the cup. Since many people are used to drinking tea that’s strained through a tea bag as opposed to loose tea, a little coaching may be necessary. It’s really easy to just swallow the tea leaves, so make sure that he leaves some behind for you to read.
- If you have problems, (e.g. your subject refuses to drink the loose tea leaves and starts making various vomiting noises), strain the tea out of the cup through a napkin stretched over the top, again taking care to leave a little bit of liquid and most of the tea leaves behind.
- Take the cup in your left hand and swirl it around clockwise three times.
- Cover the top of the cup with your right hand, making sure to swirl the leaves completely up and around the sides and rim of the cup. (A little bit of shaking is all right for beginners.)
- When all this is done, peer into the cup and get ready for your performance… we mean your "psychic predictions," of course.
3. LEARN THE SYMBOLS
If you have swirled correctly (read: vigorously), the leaves should now be clumped together in several different places on the cups inside, including the rim, sides and bottom. These clumps will form the symbols that you will read. You should always begin the interpretation by looking for the simplest symbols first. Several of the leaf clumps may clearly form shapes, letters or numbers.
- Shapes:
Triangles = good karma
Squares = the need for caution
Circles = great success - Letters: refer to the names of friends or relatives
- Numbers: indicate spans of time, like months or years.
Most of the clumps, however, will form random shapes (a bird, an anchor, a spider, Regis Philbin). With a little staring and a bit of creativity, these shapes can easily be distinguished. The following is a list of those most often encountered along with their interpretations:
We admit it: most of these interpretations are obvious, but thats how reading tea leaves works. You probably should not tell your subject how you reached your conclusions, to maintain a sense of mystery.
While this list is rather comprehensive, it is almost a given that you will encounter shapes that dont apply. This is where intuition and melodrama fit in. If you are perfectly certain that the leaf clump you are staring at can be NONE OTHER than Bob Marley, dont fight it. Just add him into the reading. (I see you getting a job as a Bob Marley look-alike.)
After a few readings, you will become more and more adept at assigning names to symbols, and in doing so will be able to interpret just about anything. Remember that the most important thing in reading tea leaves is your own creativity.
4. PREDICT WHEN SOMETHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN
It’s time for your grand finale: making sense of it all. Assume your most imperious expression and make varying noises of surprise, horror and glee. Ignore the look of fear on your subject’s face. Predicting when something will happen is one of the most fun parts of reading tea leaves because it makes you look methodical and scientific.
There are three different patterns that will tell you when something will happen:
The symbols are spread randomly around the cup
All of the symbols fall in a clear clockwise spiral within the cup
All of the symbols fall in a clear counterclockwise spiral within the cup
The symbols are spread randomly around the cup
If the symbols are spread randomly around your cup…
- Examine the cup clockwise to predict events by months (and up to a year) into the future.
- Start at the handle of the teacup; it represents the time and place of the reading.
- Hold the cup in your left hand, as if you were about to drink from it, and imagine a line across the bottom of the cup from the handle to the opposite side. This opposing side will indicate six months into the future.
- The top of the cup, or the farthest part of the cup above this line, indicates three months into the future and the part furthest to the bottom indicates nine months ahead.
- An easy way to visualize this is to imagine a clock placed over the cup. The handle, or nine o’clock, represents now, the top, or twelve o’clock, represents three months into the future, the opposing side, or three o’clock, represents six months into the future, and the bottom, six o’clock, represents nine months into the future.
- If something is located between any of these sections, assign a month to it the same way you would an hour on a clock. For example, if a symbol is halfway between twelve o’clock, or three months, and three o’clock, or six months, it will happen about four and half months into the future.
- Be patient with this method. While it may seem confusing, with your first reading you’ll figure it out.
All of the symbols fall in a clear clockwise spiral within the cup
If all of the symbols fall in a clear clockwise spiral within the cup, the symbols will appear to be moving toward you. In this case, the top of the spiral is when an instigating event will take place, and the other events are the subsequent results. Also and the significance of the event is great and it will happen very soon.
Shorthand: clockwise = something’s happening soon.
All of the symbols fall in a clear counterclockwise spiral within the cup
If the symbols move in a clear counterclockwise spiral within the cup, the symbols are moving away from you and losing their significance. Shorthand: counterclockwise = nothing’s happening too soon.
5. DETERMINE EACH SYMBOL'S IMPORTANCE
The importance of each symbol is determined by the placement of the symbols on the rim, sides and bottom of the cup.
- Symbols on the rim represent things that are very important. These are the BIG, life-changing moments.
- Symbols on the sides of the cup represent things that are significant, but not life changing.
- Symbols on the bottom indicate things that are subject to change. Some fortune-tellers believe that if a symbol is located smack-dab on the bottom center of a cup spell it spells tragedy, so if this happens during one of your readings, milk it for all it’s worth.
So here’s an example: If all of the leaves are randomly spread around the cup and you see a clearly-marked acorn on the rim at the top of your cup, then your subject will experience financial success three months from now. If the symbols seem to form a clockwise spiral and you see a face, a fountain, and a coin, your friend will very soon have a change in friendships that will bring great happiness and prosperity. If the subject told you of a rocky relationship that has been bothering him before the reading, proclaim this triumphantly as the answer to his problem.
Need some more last minute clues? Here are some to help you get going:
- Symbols that lie in straight lines indicate a definite occurrence.
- Curved or wavy lines indicate the possibility of change.
- Crystal clear symbols are events that are more likely to occur than, shall we say, “stretches of interpretation.”
- Check over your cup for lines, numbers, shapes or letters first, and interpret any clear symbols. Then follow the rules about lines above.
- If the subject told you of any questions that he had before the reading, try to tailor your prediction to these queries. However, if nothing applies, just hint that the leaves are being mysterious. YOU are not, after all, responsible for the vagaries of the divine.
- Don’t forget that it is the mysticism of the reading that wins out above all. Make sure you throw in a few gasps and feel free to faint dead away (taking care not to knock the cup).
