SOYOUWANNA PERFORM A TESTICULAR SELF-EXAMINATION?

4. SEE YOUR DOCTOR IF NECESSARY

If you exhibit any of the telltale signs from Step 3, then go directly to your doctor. If you're a student, then a trip to Student Health works just as well. Hey, these are your testicles we're talking about. And while it's true that most abnormalities found during a TSE turn out to be benign, do you really want to risk losing your balls-or your life-simply because the doctor's office gives you the jitters? We didn't think so.

• In most cases, a TSE-prompted visit to the doctor will include a physical exam very much like the TSE itself, except conducted by the physician.
  
  
• If the doctor shares your suspicions, then the next step is usually an ultrasound of the testicle-in-question. An ultrasound is a very hi-tech, very expensive machine that uses sound waves to look inside your scrotum and take snapshots. Doctors look at these images and try to determine whether or not the bump is a solid tumor or just a fluid-filled cyst.
  
  
• If the bump isn't a cyst and looks threatening, then the doctor may also order a blood test to check for "cancer markers" in your bloodstream. These markers are just proteins that are byproducts of a testicular malignancy; they won't hurt you, but they'll usually blow your cancer's cover.
  
  
• If all signs point to still point to cancer at this point, then the physician will usually recommend a radical inguinal orchiectomy. In other words, you will probably have to lose the afflicted testicle. But hang tough (if not a little to the left): If the cancer is localized, then the procedure shouldn't really change your life in any noticeable way. One testicle in your sac will make more than enough gametes to pass on your original family recipe of As, Cs, Ts and Gs. And though you might find sex a little awkward at first, rest assured, your prowess in the other sack shouldn't decline in the least. There are even saline prosthetics available to make you feel more like your old self.

In the event that the cancer has already spread out beyond the scrotum, the treatment becomes more involved. The longer you ignore cancer, the more likely you are to have to face chemotherapy or radiation treatments to kill off the cancer cells.

So you're out of excuses. For more information, check out these resources:

1-800-4-CANCER (Cancer information service)