2. PICK OUT, DEFROST, PREPARE, AND ROAST THE TURKEY

Pick out a turkey

Instead of buying your turkey from the shady guy selling them for two bucks on the corner, we recommend that you go to your supermarket to pick one out. To get the tastiest and safest bird possible, follow these tips:

  • Make sure you pick out a turkey that is 4- to 6-months-old, Grade A, and USDA-approved. This is key.

  • Buy a frozen turkey at least 3 days in advance so that you can properly defrost it.

  • To figure out how big of a turkey you need, estimate that each guest will eat about 1.3 pounds, and then round up. Here are some examples:
    8 guests: 8 x 1.3 = 10.4. Your turkey should weigh at least 11 pounds.

    13 guests: 13 x 1.3 = 16.9. So the bird should weigh at least 17 pounds.
  • Avoid turkeys that are pre-stuffed. Even though they seem efficient (much like peanut butter and jelly in one handy jar), baking turkeys with the stuffing already inside them promotes bacterial growth, which can lead to mass illness among your guests.

  • Once you buy your turkey, stick it immediately into the coldest part of your freezer and keep it there a couple days.

Defrost the turkey

Three days before the big meal (that would be Monday), it will be time for you to take the turkey out of the freezer and move it into the refrigerator so that it can properly defrost. You can't just take the turkey out of the freezer on Wednesday night and plop it on the counter - your guests will get food poisoning, and you'll feel less than thankful when an ambulance is rushing your retching dinner party en masse to the hospital.

Any turkey under 20 pounds should take no more than 3 days to thaw in the fridge. For turkeys over 20 pounds, give it 4 to 5 days.

Roast the turkey

On Thursday morning, you'll have a nice, defrosted turkey sitting in your fridge. Here's what to do next:

  • Preheat the oven to 325°F.

  • Remove the turkey wrapper.

  • "Wash" your turkey by running cold, wet, paper towels along its body.

  • Dry off the turkey with paper towels.

  • Pull out the neck from the body cavity and remove the giblets from the neck cavity.

  • Drain the juices and blot the cavities with paper towels.

  • Rub the outside of the turkey with a brush loaded with olive oil. Then rub on some salt and pepper.

Now you're ready to start roasting. Your turkey will probably come with roasting directions on its packaging, so it's best to just follow those. However, here are some universal instructions:

  • Place the turkey breast-side up on a flat rack in an open roasting pan about 2 inches deep.

  • In general, a turkey should be roasted 10-12 minutes per pound at 325° F. You'll know when your turkey is done when a meat thermometer that's inserted into the thigh reads 175 to 180° F.

  • About a half hour before you expect the turkey to be done, check in on it and make sure there aren't any catastrophes.

  • If you find that your turkey is browning too quickly (which often happens to larger birds), cover the entire pan with a loose tent of aluminum foil.

  • Let the turkey stand about 15 - 20 minutes before carving it up.

Stuff the turkey

We recommend that you stuff the turkey after it's been fully cooked in order to prevent bacterial growth. Simply follow the directions on how to make bread stuffing below, and then spoon it into the two "empty compartments" at the front and back of the bird.

Preparation Time: 1 hour

Ingredients:

  • 12 cups day-old bread, cut into ½-inch cubes
  • 4½ cups chicken stock
  • 2½ sticks celery, finely chopped
  • 1¼ onion, peeled and finely chopped
  • 2½ large eggs
  • ½ cup walnuts, chopped

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350° F.

  2. Melt the butter in a large frying pan over medium heat. Then add the celery and onions and cook for about 5 minutes.

  3. Throw all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix well. Use your (washed) hands if necessary!

  4. Transfer the stuffing into a 9" x 13" buttered baking pan and cover it with aluminum foil.

  5. Bake for 20 minutes, then remove the foil, raise the oven temperature to 400° F, and bake for another 20 minutes. The stuffing is done when the top is brown and crisp.

  6. After the turkey is fully roasted, stuff the stuffing into it and serve. Any leftover stuffing can be served as a side dish.