6. HAVE THE SHOWER

There's no mystery to what happens at a wedding shower. Basically, you eat, drink and watch the bride-to-be open gifts. You don't have to do anything else, but a couple of organized activities can come in handy as ice-breakers when there's a number of people who don't know each other. It's also fun to make the bride-to-be blush and generally have some fun at her expense. Calling her "the bitch who stole my man" hasn't proved to be that much of a knee-slapper at past showers, though, so keep that to yourself.

Showers are the kind of occasion when everyone wants to chat with the bride-to-be, offering the wisdom of their experience and pass on any helpful hints about marriage, dating or men in general that they've gleaned along the way. With this in mind, anything that requires people to write down tips for the bride-to-be (which will be read aloud) will get all guests into the spirit of things, not just the guest with the biggest mouth. You can click here to a see a long listing of various cheesy games and ice-breakers, but here are a few games to get you thinking:

  • Have guests write down what they wore on their wedding day (or what they would wear) to cover the "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" wedding day rule and read aloud

  • Any "wedding night" advice usually gets people talking; have guests write down some tips for the bride-to-be and read aloud

  • Once everyone is seated ask guests to briefly recount their "how I met my spouse" story or how they know the guest of honor

Unless you're a complete hick, you can't invite people over without feeding them and putting a drink in their hand. (And please don't neglect the alcohol. You can, but, hey, what's a party without it?) Popular food plans include: potluck (everyone brings a dish – which lowers costs for you), wine and cheese, desserts and coffee, hors d'oeuvres, or a sit down meal. A nice touch is to make the food consistent with the theme – this has made the showers we've been to much neater.

Whether you choose to prepare the food yourself or have it catered depends on your culinary skill, your pocketbook, or both. You know yourself better than we do, so, as much as it pains our officious selves, we can't tell you exactly what to do here. Or, if that doesn't sound so good, you could go the more expensive route and get food catered, which is easier on you. And perhaps on your guests.

Lastly, whatever you decide to do, remember that you're being a good friend. You're giving the bride-to-be support and showing her how much you care. You don't have to host the perfect party, nor does anyone expect you to. Whether you spend $100 or $1,000, it's your effort that the bride will remember. Keep it fun and you can't go wrong. Good luck!