How much does it cost to get the materials to make an oil painting? What, a couple hundred dollars at most? You've got canvas, a stretcher-frame, brushes, lots of blobs of paint from little tubes, a few quarts of whiskey, and let's say six packs of smokes. But somehow, over time (and one can't help thinking of the "The Emperor's New Clothes" here), these seemingly low cost items, taken together, grow and grow and grow in value, until people are eventually barking out million dollar figures at Sotheby's for the privilege of hanging these materials on their walls. And these people are fully aware of the existence of both liquor and art supply stores.
So there must be something there that these people are seeing. Something that makes a painting more than just its composite materials. Is it the age-old wonder of catching lightning in a bottle, that frozen instant where genius casts its light in an ephemeral medium and is captured there for all to see? No, we didn't think you'd go for that. But whether it's a case of a bunch of rich people trying to out-do each other, or truth and beauty captured in colored oils, people have paid unbelievable amounts of money for these things, as you'll see in our list of . . . The Top Ten Most Expensive Paintings of all Time! By the way, these are all accurate as of February 28, 2000.
1. PAINTINGS 10 - 8
10. Self-Portrait: Yo Picasso
Artist: Pablo Picasso
Price tag: $43,500,000
Purchased: Sotheby's, New York (May 9th, 1989)
Yup, that's Picasso as in Pablo. You might have heard of him - bald little guy, lot's of mistresses? Anyway, remember the name, you'll be seeing a lot more of it before we're through.
This self-portrait was painted in 1901, around the same time as his good friend Casagemas' suicide, which led to his famous blue period, in which he had his handlers give him only the blue Smarties, and discard all the other colors. No, wait, that was the lead guitarist for Motley Cre.
Pablo, on the other hand, just got kinda sad for awhile and used the color blue a lot, and 88 years later, someone at Sotheby's moved their pinky finger at the wrong time, and BAM! $43+ million out of pocket.
By the way, the title of this painting is not the artist doing his Rocky Balboa impression; "Yo" means "I" in Spanish, so the title in English is "I Picasso." Personally, however, we here at SoYouWanna.net have never picassoed, at least not in public.
Artist: Picasso
Price tag: $45,102,500
Purchased: Christie's, New York (November 9th, 1999)
Nude in a Black Armchair (Nu au fauteil noir) is from a series of portraits Picasso painted of one of his many mistresses (busy guy), Marie-Therese Walter. Looking at the painting, though, her own mother wouldn't recognize her, so he probably just told his wife that it was a tree. Supposedly, the woman is seated with her arms folded over her head in a suggestive pose, but as Pablo's art therapist may have said at the time, this guy is a few sandwiches short of a full picnic basket. And that's why his paintings are worth so much money today.
In another instance of crazy rich people rushing about trying to spend the most money, the day after this one sold, number 7 on our list was purchased for even more ridiculous amounts of cash. Always back to back, like lemmings. Rich monkey see, rich monkey do.
8. Le rve
Artist: Picasso
Price tag:$48,402,500
Purchased: Christie's, New York (November 10th, 1997)
There were two versions of "The Dream," which showed a bunch of curvy lines and semi-recognizable shapes making up a woman whose head is lolling to one side as she dreams a lovely dream. This one was painted in 1932, and there are rumors and unconfirmed reports floating around that maybe, possibly, by a small stretch of the imagination, it might have been one of his mistresses. Just maybe. Cubism was one of those great jokes on the world, a way for artists to mess around with different shapes and have fun, and then see what people say about the whole thing.
Don't you just love the formality of his anti-form? The way it breaks down any structural imposition or classicism? Isn't it wonderfully unrecognizable as any freakin' thing seen by human eyes? There are 48,402,500 good reasons to paint in the Cubist style, but unfortunately, we only thought of them after the artist had died.
2. PAINTINGS 7-5
7. Irises
Artist: Vincent Van Gogh
Price tag: $49,000,000
Purchased: Sotheby's, New York (November 11th, 1987)
Get used to seeing this guy's name, too. Not to reveal too much prematurely, but Van Gogh has got three of the top ten most expensive paintings on our list. And he couldn't give his work away when he was alive. Don't you just love irony?
Irises is one of a series of paintings of the same subject, with which he was mildly obsessed. But this was par for the course for Vincent, who did nothing but obsess.
Artist: Picasso
Price tag: $49,500,000
Purchased: Sotheby's, New York (November 10th, 1999)
The woman seated in the garden was actually the artist's mistress from the pre-war period, Dora Maar. The painting's subject is, as usual, barely recognizable as a woman, let alone a garden, and was it apparently painted entirely in one day. Which might explain a few things. Maybe the paintings are so rough and child-like because Pablo was always in such a rush. With his many mistresses, it's a wonder he had any time to paint at all.
Not that the price for his paintings suffered as a result. Think of the hourly rate! Let's say 16 hours tops to paint the thing, and a selling price of $49.5 mill . . . that's over $3,000,000 an hour! And there wasn't even an artist's union at the time. But it was actually the fine people at Sotheby's who raked in a good-sized chunk of the dough on this one, and they never so much as painted a wall.
5. Les Noces de Pierrette
Artist: Picasso
Price tag: $51,671,920
Purchased - Binoche et Godeau, Paris (November 30th, 1989)
OK, OK, we're getting a little tired of seeing this name on the list, too. Yes, five of the top ten paintings were painted by Pablo. At least Picasso was able to make a little money off his fame when he was still alive, unlike Van Gogh, who instead enjoyed the fruits of insanity, poverty, and tinitis.
The most expensive of the Picassos, "The Marriage of Pierrette" was painted in 1905. This is one of his early works from a period of impoverishment in his life. Paintings from this period generally sell for more than the later works, which are more difficult, more cubist, and more downright unrecognizable.
This painting was bought by a Japanese businessman, back when Japan still had an economy. We assume that he did not threaten to set it ablaze upon his death, as one of his compatriots may have done with an even pricier slab of canvas (see the most expensive painting of all time).
3. PAINTINGS 4-2
4. Still Life with Curtain, Pitcher, and Bowl of Fruit
Artist: Paul Cezanne
Price tag: $60,500,000
Purchased: Sotheby's, New York (May 10th, 1999)
As you might expect from the title, this is a painting of a spatula and a shaved goat. Just kidding. Could this guy be any more prosaic? Cezanne, often called the father of modern painting, was a French artist working in the Impressionist period, but he is known as a "Post-Impressionist" for his unconventional and influential style.
Anyway, the bunch of fruit and stuff he happened to have lying around is the most recent purchase of the top ten most overpriced paintings in the world. It was purchased anonymously, which is no surprise. We'd be embarrassed, too.
3. Portrait de l'artiste sans barbe
Artist: Vincent Van Gogh
Price tag: $71,500,000
Purchased: Christie's, New York (November 19th, 1998)
As the title says, this is literally a picture of Vinnie without a beard. Van Gogh painted it for his mother the year before he died, and it was one of his last paintings (as well as his last self-portrait). Vincent decided to clean himself up a bit, not look so scruffy, and have both ears intact for this self-portrait for Mom.
That same year Vincent wrote to his brother in a little-known letter: "Dear Theo, please send more money. There just aren't enough Japanese real-estate tycoons in Europe right now, so nobody is buying my paintings. Also, Gaugin is being a pig about the rent, and I'm hearing this ringing sound all the time. Do you hear it?"
So it was clearly the beginning of the end for Vincent, and his paintings of this time are consequently considered to be his best. (You know the old adage: the crazier the artist, the better the work.)
Artist: Pierre-Auguste Renoir
Price tag: $78,100,000
Purchased: Sotheby's, New York (May 17th, 1990)
This painting was purchased by Japanese businessman Ryoei Saito, who two days earlier had paid the highest price ever for a painting (we can't tell you what it is just yet - you'll have to wait).
An ambitious showpiece of a painting, Au Moulin de la Galette exhibits an air of courtship, fun, and frivolity. Portraying two girls dancing, and painted in a style typical of Renoir's early period of Impressionism, the work was exhibited in the third Impressionist Exhibition in 1877. Despite the dappled light and diffused look of the Impressionistic style, there is a classical stability in the composition. This aspect of Renoir's work would come out more and more as he abandoned impressionism in his later paintings. One last cool thing: most of the people in the painting are Renoir's friends.
Although the artist himself thought that Au Moulin de la Galette wasn't amongst his best work, the modern day (crazed and filthy rich) art consumer apparently feels otherwise.
4. THE MOST EXPENSIVE PAINTING OF ALL TIME
Artist: Vincent Van Gogh
Price tag: $82,500,000
Purchased: Christie's, New York (May 15th, 1990)
As you've probably gathered, old Vince was, like many great artists, just a tad loony. During one of his frequent stays in the nuthouse, he painted this touching picture of his doctor looking completely exhausted, presumably from chasing Vinnie around with a syringe.
Japanese businessman Ryoei Saito (who paid a mere $78.1 million for a Renoir two days later) claims the title for shelling out the most insane amount of money ever for a work of art. Mr. Saito himself could probably have benefited from some time under the care of the good Dr. Gachet. Right after purchasing this painting, he threatened to have it burned when he died, to prevent his heirs from having to pay a huge inheritance tax. He died six years later, and no one has seen Portrait of Dr. Gachet since.
So the question remains: did 80-plus million bucks worth of canvas and oil, slapped together by a lunatic, go up in smoke at the hands of another lunatic? Or was the painting simply sold to an "anonymous party?" We may never know.
